… get real.

As I watched the movie again it felt like it was just yesterday that I skipped a GCIS legkotla and headed off to the art-house cinema in Rosebank to take in one of themed films that were running in conjunction with a certain parade taking part at the weekend. While I prefer to play polo on the weekends and didn’t think that marching in some parade would get me that tall, dark and handsome investment banker the movie did take me away from it all for a few hours and was just what my soul needed.

The movie, ‘Get Real’, was my first gay film. With sweaty palms, deafening heart beat and a stomach full of butterflies I bought my ticket to a noticeably empty theatre and sat down to watch the film that I hoped would be worth the time and effort. It was a typical formula film: boy meets boy. Boy loses boy. Boy gets cute boy back. But there was something more to it than that. In the darkness of the cinema, with freshly popped popcorn, watery coke and whispers I started to come to terms with who I am and what I want.

And now almost three years down the line, two major relationships under my belt and one burning question. They say if you stay single in Jo’burg long enough you’re supposed to get wiser about dating. What men to pick … where to meet them but what really make any of us experts? Wasn’t our single status a neon sign that we couldn’t get it right? What if all these years in Jo’burg have only made us older, more confused or dead? As I sat watching the film again on DVD I had to ask myself: are we getting wiser, or just older?

While so much has changed everything has stayed the same. I still want the same things now that I wanted then but somehow they seem different almost like a Harry Potter book. All hype but little substance. Turning to your friends for advice doesn’t help because for the most part it’s like the blind leading the blind. Gay or straight no one seems to have any of the answers figured out. So we all meet for drinks in sub-terrain bars where all the young and beautiful people are in an attempt to rub Buddha’s tummy for luck.

But is it that simple? The right place at the right time? In the film the two characters meet of all places in a public toilet in a park. They slowly get to know each other and then fall in love. But fate, parents and a busy-body girl get in the way of their happiness and everything falls apart. Seldom does life end like in the movies and while I’ve heard of last relationships formed online, at nightclubs or on blind dates never have I heard turning tricks as the lucky charm to finding the man of your dreams.

But what if you did find that someone and somehow they were further along the learning curve in life’s experiences than you? Were they the one lost or a catalyst to get you where you need to be eventually? As life gets more complicated as we get older, we yearn for a time when things were simpler, so that we all can just be you and me. And just like the child inside I’ve started asking questions again. Not to be annoying but curiosity is getting the better of me. After all someone has to have the answers, right?


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