… lie to me?

[note: read with the soundtrack, more interesting that way]

In the darkness, as I lay there the enormity of the past few weeks struck me. And I was numb with fear. The short bursts of anguish have bubbled to the surface and in recognising my faults I have managed to calm myself down and kept from breaking down completely. Indecision plagues my decisions, and while to those who do not know me the façade is intact, underneath I have crumbled to the pressures of my own ambition.

Between the darkness of the past full moon, and the scythe of tonight’s the gambit of emotions experienced reminds me of the last time I fell to the floor, prostrated with a heart full of questions. From landing the perfect global partner to expand with, to engaging with the perfect portfolio of brands, to finding that right someone to lie next to at night as the heavy, sticky heat of the Highveld hangs on the dull wind of a passionate night.

And then, a movie comes along that resonates so strongly within that the crystalline soul splinters into a million pieces that fall to the floor like a cascading tray of diamonds, their carats so flawless and imperfect. Like the promise of a new love … or the birth of a new daughter to the man who holds your eunuch heart. In his joy, the palpable relief glistens in the tears that come with the demons in the early morning darkness and I know that in the dawn, our love starts anew.


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